Brummfisch

Every time I fly through Dubai I marvel at the airport security. It’s one of the the funniest things you can witness at an airport. OK, maybe that benchmark isn’t terribly high, but still.

You see, in Dubai airport, I guess the authorities were forced to erect a couple of security checkpoints by the FAA saying “If you want to open an airport, you must have X number of security checkpoints” or some such. The reason surely is not that anyone really cares about the security, because what happens there is the following:

The security checkpoints look like those in any other airport, neatly arranged in rows, equipped with a little conveyor belt and one of those metal detector thingies. Each checkpoint is manned by two people. One keeps an eye on the security screen, the other on the security gate. And with that I mean that they are probably checking that nobody absconds with those two expensive technical items. Because other than that, the security personnel do nothing.

This leads to the situation that when a mob of travelers descends from an airplane and flocks to the security checkpoints, everybody arriving there is somewhat at a loss - there are no signs, there are no personnel to tell people what to do (apart from the two aforementioned people behind the scanner who are doing nothing). But!!! Now an amazing thing happens. The reflex from years of being harassed at airports kicks in and people start to subject themselves to a security screening. However, since nobody tells them what to do exactly, this leads to everybody drawing from their various airport experiences which in turn leads to everybody taking off different items, and throwing them on the conveyor to go through the scanner.

Some travelers are taking off belts, some are taking off watches, some take their little bags full of liquid items out of their purses, some their laptops, and some are even taking off shoes. Some are doing nothing of the sort and just put their bags on the conveyor. AND THEN EVERYBODY GOES THROUGH THE GATE AND ON THEIR MERRY WAY. There is nobody being held up, nobody checked with a hand scanner, nobody asked to open their bag. Because nobody frigging cares. And: I guess it works as well as the security in any other airport. Only it goes much quicker.